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i wish i had came up with it first though, its beautiful. back from Xiamen, 4 days of fun in the sun. =) it was a great trip, lots of nothing...plenty of pool time and just a good unwinding... i think i've unwinded too much though, i don't want to go back to school. but according to jeremy's countdown. there's 60 days left. =) so there. lessons learned/relearned: i've been thinking maybe i don't dislike you as much as i thought i did. and maybe i disliked you more than i thought i did. either way, i think its too tiring to hate on anybody.. so i give it up. again. and there's a long way to go, but i think we're doing good. just one step, one foot in front of the other, and we'll keep going forward. "When we dwell on the past, we tend to want to live there. When we dream of the future, we want to go there. Our dreams are where God paints a picture of a life waiting to be created." thanks to shoji for that awesome quote. its killer. =) i was showering my dog just now, and she hates showers. and she kept trying to get out of the tub, until i let her put her head in my lap, and talked to her as i showered her. its funny, but i kept thinking, its much the same way with everything else. you don't succeed until you let it happen to you too. so i got soaked...but she never did struggle. anyway, school tomorrow. sadly. but i think i'll miss High School i love everything that has made me...well me. and high school has been such a big part of it. i'd even go back to primary and start there. from the first day of Grade 1 (which i still remember) to my first day of grade 3 in SSIS, to my first day of grade 8 in CAIS. to God be all my gratitude, for giving me this life. an empty canvas for me to color, with my reactions, with my emotions but still ever with your hand. and i trace my regrets with the tip of my finger, smearing hard edges and smoothing it over... as they fade out with years, months, days, minutes... and even though they're black blobs of mistakes, they're part of the picture and they make it beautiful. they make it me. and i stand speechless at the gates of heaven, my hands reaching for what lies beyond. we were made for eternity, and she calls us now, to start walking toward her. and to reach her embrace with joy and the satisfaction of a life well-lived. |