i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

its semi-displeasing but 100% accurate.

yes, my thoughts are not mass appealing...

my person is plain and unexciting...

my talents don't amount to anything...

this summer i have come to know that these are the thoughts people think about me.

and although it is a tender spot,

i have come to accept the fact that people will always look at you the way they want to look at you.

and sometimes they can be right.

i don't really feel like defending myself, even in my own thoughts...

i guess that's much thanks to you.

i really like you and all...but you drain everything i have in me.

i don't really see the harm in believing that i can make this world a better place.

not me but that which is in me.

i don't really think that the way you see the world will give you strength to keep trying,

and one day you won't find a reason to go on.

lol. i sound like i'm defending myself..

how human of me.

today i went out with greg, albert and johnny.

thought no. 1: i think i'm too used to jeremy holding on to my hand to keep my pace. because today i lagged behind them for about 3/4 of the time until greg noticed haha.

thought no. 2: no wonder boys don't shop. they suck at it.

thought no. 3: it was a good time.. just a very unproductive one.

dinner at ruby tuesday's with 09.

caught between two worlds.

damn.

but every dollar of a thousand was worth it, if the time it bought was enjoyed.

its strange that after so long,

there is still a sad emotion of heading in the opposite direction, across the platform.

a little bit like lonely, but not really.. as if, set apart has spread to all aspects of life.

i readily admit, i am a lonely person.

and so i watch, and observe.. trying to find something..

but i don't really know what i'm looking for.

when do we ever?

cryptic huh.

=/

if only someone understood.