i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

the more i agree with that statement.

i guess humans have progressed to a state where they don't feel the need for a God anymore.

i hear countless discussions, so much confidence...

funny how that is the norm in a society where weakness is glorified... where conventional heroes have tragic flaws, and perfection is frowned upon.

and yet, in each person - glows self-perfection.

it would be better if i were of any other religion than christian,

because here christianity is the root of all intolerance.

it is the religion shunned, the disrespected.

that probably is due to the amount of hate churches that exist here in north america..

and i can not justify those, i disagree just as much...

i've heard the phrase, "religion is just attributing the human greatness to something else,"

but how great are we... really..

we are born... we live...

we die.

what gives our life meaning, is that which is within us.. is it not?

it is not the biological aspect of our being,

it is not the physical surrounding we come into..

it is not the brain, it is the mind.

it is not the body, it is the soul.

and i don't know.. i really don't know how my mind came to be..

how my soul came to be..

but i know i have one.

maybe im rambling on as an undereducated person,

as i've evidently discovered here that i am.

however, as undereducated as i may be to these people,

i don't want to let go of what i feel is the most dear...

i still believe that simple is beauty.

i still believe that just because people aren't aware, that they are stupid.

i still believe that each person, regardless of where their intellect lies, their interests, and their strengths and weaknesses, they will have a new perspective to bring to the table.

and i'd rather live the rest of my life, giving each person the benefit of the doubt, and to find all that is most precious in them.

instead of snubbing, condescending, looking down.. or writing them off as stupid.

yes i am a literature major,

yes, philosophy, mythology and history are my thing.

but if it weren't, i'd be just as happy.

if i had the talent to design clothing, or act, or sing...

if i had the desire to run, to jump, to sweat...

if i had the guts to go out on a limb,

i would.

but i think i'll work with what God gave me

and i think to each, his own is what is best.

i wish i had a heart that wasn't so quick to get angry,

that was bigger, with a sweeter disposition.

and those things i work on daily,

to try and try to love and love and love...

to be patient..

to be kind..

sounds sappy, but i hold them in high esteem.

i guess when i told God to break my pride

he smashed it to bits.

because here i think i can rebuild,

and this time i know i'll do better.

im really quite unsure..

baby steps, baby steps...

i admire confidence greatly...

and my coming to UofT completes my story of personal triumph.

triumph over me that had no self-confidence.

me that was picked last, picked on, and picked up...

me that always wished to be first, and never quite got there.

it took 12 years... for me to realize that all that really mattered, was to be no. 1 to God and to me, and everything else would fall into place.

and here i am.

now personal triumph is accomplished,

its time to tear out all the baggage..

tear out all the pride...

and empty myself so that God can fill me..

failure will come..

but never again,

will i hate who i am.

i have friends who love me, despite my shortcomings,

family who are proud of me, and support me...

i have a jeremy to cry, laugh and argue with..

and an awesome awesome God.

a God who carries me through,

who refines me daily,

who shows me daily how far i've come,

and how little of it has actually been me.

it has all been You Lord.

and for that i cast myself into the sea of faith.