i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

class begins today at 4PM.

and ends at 9PM

without any breaks =(

i guess many have it much worse than i do,

so i'll stop complaining.

it doesn't take me much reflection

to understand that i am very much average.

i fall right in between, i am the medium.

at times this troubles me, and at times this comforts me.

i still have not quite figured out how to think,

what to think about this.

where do i place in the grand scheme of things,

and what about those secret desires,

those other dreams

i never discuss.

so much i want to accomplish

and i feel the strain of stretching my effort and talent,

it doesn't measure up.

and that is what it means to be average i guess.

to be a dreamer with nothing to back it up with.

but is this a point of closure or merely a handicap

to break through?

brilliance is a state of being.

brilliance is a state of doing.

point of contention.

---------------

on a sidenote.

i'm learning another language.

the language of the flowers.

to express today.

the amaryllis:

its strange to think that the same flower embodies two conflicting ideas.

however, they are not binary opposites, and completely express my feelings at this moment.

amaryllis is such a strong flower though, i picked an x-ray version because it gives me less in-your-face factor, which i don't like very much.

however, the colors they paint are beautiful, and i think my mother has planted one of these.

they aren't upright, they lean to a side, and almost yearning to reach out and touch something, yearning for the light to reach out and touch them as well..

hmm.

amaryllis.