i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

twice i've opened this blog to start posting, but both times i failed.

so im attempting this again hopefully with success.

this week has been rather unproductive,

due to the fact that i have been thrown off a health equlibrium,

nevertheless i am on my road to recovery and its goood. =)

the next week is super busy, crammed full of fun.

it'll be great.

im slightly worried about my beloved doggie,

while we were out today she somehow got to the chocolate on my table.

luckily, there was left than half left, but still

i hope there are no complications.

now onto fluffier matters, fluffier even than my beloved Chrissy.

matters of the heart.

matters that make and break you.

matters like a certain male.

or a certain book.

or a certain future.

you might find it strange to have something like a book stuck between love and future,

but books are part of the structure that is my life.

i draw strength, inspiration, lessons, dreams and beauty from them.

i find myself looking both ways,

both backward and forward.

and i remember some sweet things,

and i envision sweeter.

looking back even a year, faces have changed.

looking forward a year i don't really know what to expect,

some apprehension, more courage hopefully.

i want to live without reservation,

without complication,

i want to experience all there is to God's plan for me

with passion and zeal, with my eyes fixed on beyond the end.

and yet time and time again,

i am overcome with a shadow that tugs me

backward and backward.

but as always,

this mountain moves.

each night, each day.

and it seems as though each shovel i push, unearths more dirt.

but this won't be my stumbling block,

but a marker for something greater.

i will surpass. it is not my goal. it blocks my goal.

and God willing, i will make it through.

this summer is turning out better

than i ever hoped it would.

God is always good.