i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

youtubing all day.

looking out the window,

at overcast skies

from the 22nd floor of this building.

the question is,

how to bring art to my writing?

how to create life in my writing?

i always felt that unless as a person i'd gone through a great many different type of emotions and experiences, i'd have no right or say in creating art, or in writing something that tapped into the greater and deeper things in life.

養分。

把痛苦，不開心，懊惱，生氣的情緒全部都視為養分。

but i don't really think that is it.

there are plenty of amazing writers who have lived normal, and been normal.

what they have however,

is an empathy and an ability to step out and step in of their own lives.

as a young 18 year old,

i feel inadequate and unable to understand most of the things in life.

but i so desire to come to terms with wisdom that in reality, only blossoms with age.

so many things right now are in suspension.

in some ways i can't wait to get my feet on the ground again and start pulling them out of the air,

into some vague resemblance of a well-lived life.

i guess that would be the only negative about summer,

especially a summer that divides your life into three or four separate countries.

sleepless nights spent going "if"

projecting into a future that is anticipated, and not anticipated, if only because the now is already wonderful.

what if.

i have what it takes?

what if.

i don't?

what if,

i stopped thinking about if.

i don't think so though.

im a supporter of such a phrase.

what if sentences widen the horizons,

and empower my fingers to a better dance across the keyboard,

if not technically, at least purposefully and meaningfully.

如果說，

我相信我自己可以。

如果說，

我願意勇敢的試一試。

也許。

也許。