i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

i am well aware of who i am.

in fact, most of my self-reflection is spent pulling out all the ugliness within myself

for myself to see.

like im showing me, "bitch look at this. you have nothing to be proud of."

secondly,

this battle is my own.

wholly my own.

with God as my only witness, my only judge, my only support, my only critic.

thirdly,

if my eyes betray my thoughts,

its because there are too many of them.

my moods color my days as vividly as one could expect,

and today im feeling like i-couldn't-give-another-damn.

not of depression, not of anger, not of frustration.

waiting for things to change,

but wishing for things to stay the same.

its funny how isolation works,

and today i find myself

cruising the seas on an island.

and this is an extremely incoherent blog post. =P