i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

my brain is in lockdown,

punishing my thoughts, punishing my heart

for its lack of strength.

in the safety of my room,

with the door shut and my back against the wall

i feel trapped in my mind.

and i can see all the signs..

the hints of you,

impressions,

a lingering print.

your love lacing its way through

everything that used to be mine.

nothing's safe.

not your heart, not mine.

and if i could, if i could i'd use everything to protect yours.

but deep inside my fingernails are digging,

deep in the frustrations of my ugliness.

oh you don't know.

you don't know at all.

if i were to let you see,

all the holes that were within me,

you'd turn away in disgust.

the truth is.

im selfish.

and pride built his palace where my rationale used to be.

and the truth is.

i don't know how to get out of here.

i don't care who you are.

if you're reading this,

whether you're a boy, a girl, a friend, a lover.

would you please,

don't say a thing.

just give me a hug.

a nice long tight one.

it's been so long since i've felt the beating of another heart.

but then again,

there's selfishness in my asking.