i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

dreading a full day tomorrow but the condition of my soul won't be at peace until blogging is done.

this weekend i had turkey 5 times at 3 dinners and a lunch.

this weekend i had 50 pounds of food =/

this weekend i laughed too hard.

this weekend i really was happy.

this weekend my heart wavered.

this weekend my heart was lonely.

this weekend i had a sudden craving, for a tightening of arms.

if only things were easier,

if only there weren't so many grey patches.

how to do, what to think, how to feel, what to see.

you make everything easier,

and everything harder.

and i find that with age comes more secrets.

and things i cannot say,

are bursting, bursting, bursting inside of me.

damnit.

you are so close to my heart.

truly.

but there are always the can't be's.

and the will not be's.

and the what if only be's

and they hum, locked in the depths of my heart.

i hope you know.

just maybe.