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a reason
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intertext lu mikan janice qiao dawn to reply
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to visit my old self. www.xanga.com/xxwishezndreamzxx haha this is me pre-university. spanning all the way back to grade 9-ish. my writing style has evolved over the years, but after university something broke, and im still looking for that essence of joy that once permeated my writing. the world today will say that the me now is an improvement, because the me today is experienced, the me today is less naive. the world is happy that my joy is no longer butterflies and flowers, because the truth is the world is also ugly. but i beg to differ, and this improved me proves unsatisfactory. and it seems strange to quote myself, but i seem to have foreshadowed my current state: March 11, 2009 i said, "and you were so busy looking for freedom you didnt read the price. and now as midnight swiftly falls the walls emerge between us.' how strange. my last official entry into xanga ended as such: i hope the path i tread will never be one without expression... and as the pages trail into empty space i smooth the surface with precious fingers and my heart bubbles with a quiet joy at the story yet to be written. and it rings true yet. i used to begin and end with poetry, and i haven't done that in quite some time. i wonder how to draw those words out of me. it seems to me that the more things change, the more they lose the reason for changing. and life is merely the struggle to hold on to that reason. but this struggle is beautiful, and this struggle is glorious because it make you and i the same. and its because we struggle and we fail that our eyes are opened to see the hand from heaven reaching down to us saying, "Come" if tears were diamonds we'd all be rich. does that mean the poor are the happiest? give me a book, some chocolate and a nice-smelling boy to kiss. maybe a polaroid to capture the memories. see? i guess diamonds are necessary. gimme my stuff. =P |