i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

filled with amazing people, pub food, laughter and a good time.

the truth is i would like the night to go on forever,

then i could run away from days.

days of thinking, of changing, of sadness and pain.

and the greater my joy,

the greater the fall is the next day as i open my eyes

to the sobering reminder that i tried my best and truest and failed anyway.

to the confusion of the ugliness of my actions, and the selfish motives i hide away.

im not unhappy, neither is my laugh fake,

but tears buried deep freeze themselves cold when the wind

blows through my hair and into my heart.

and thaw... and freeze... and thaw... and freeze.

the warmth of a hand, and the solidarity of a comfortable hugs

things i miss.

things i don't deserve.

things i don't get.

oh can't you hear me, hear this painful heart of mine,

do you understand?

that everything i say and do is truth and lies.

no and i carry on.

feeling the burn of your slight.

swayed by an unaware act of kindness.

with two almond slivers in my wallet,

side by side.