i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

how i wish you were here to feel the joy i feel.

my selfishness seems to rear its head at the sight of my joy.

and my fingers seem to dance along the strings,

making music for the ears of heaven,

and in that moment i think of no one, except how to create the best possible sound for an audience of one.

and now that the moment has passed,

you return to my mind

and return to my heart.

the truth is i am so ugly inside.

the truth is i still don't know whether letting go was the right thing to do.

but i tell myself lies,

to cover up the sad truth.

the truth is,

i left you.

and im falling and falling

please be the only thing my heart lives for.

take me away from these tired memories.

renew me in grace and forgiveness.

for if you had not loved me first,

i would refuse you still.