i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

i am today, remembering a conversation i had with a quiet sort of girl,

on a subject matter i believed myself to be comfortable in,

and i was taken aback, by the maturity, the scope and grasp of the issue she had

that left me scrambling for words in the back of my mind.

its a reminder,

of my own self-confidence, and how that balances with pride, with losing self-awareness.

i am clearly aware today, of my own inadequacies.

i do not claim to be an authority on anything,

i do not claim to be a mature, experienced person.

my wisdom comes not from my accomplishments, but from my failures.

and my life is a series of eliminating what is wrong for me.

maybe thats the best i can do for now,

and the only way God can reach me through my thick-headedness and hard-heartedness is by eliminating one by one all the other choices i make that are not him.

how do i properly live a life of humility when all my struggles are with pride?

how do i grow to be the beauty of God when all i see is my ugliness?

these thoughts are by no means self-depreciating,

there is only a higher standard to uphold,

and complacency is my biggest enemy.

rejoice always

pray continually

give thanks.

i will, i will, i will.

i have many things to say,

but no one to say them to.

for i am practicing the art of silence,

of controlling my tongue.

these thoughts to be written are for remembering,

some time, some day i will look back on these words

and i will see how far i've come

when the ocean of time has faded the footprints in the sand,

it will realize its been bested for

i've etched them into stone.

and the world will see the footprints of Jesus,

deeper where he carried me, and my burdens and my insecurities,

and they will know,

for my life proclaims

"He carried me through"