i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

to put to rest the tumultuous emotional ride the last two have been.

i find in me a need to rediscover the quiet kind.

a stillness i used to pride myself in.

a place where self-centeredness fell away, and all that was left was

a yearning to be beautiful in the eyes of God.

a quiet kind of faith.

a quiet kind of hope

a quiet kind.

and i've been feeling uglier and uglier lately,

filled with things i don't want to be.

i can't love the way i am because i don't think who i am is reflecting who God made me to be.

but i'm striving, i'm praying, i'm learning and redefining.

and maybe i need to step out and meet him in the middle.

i see God,

i see.

i will try my very hardest.

use my willingness, use my reluctancy,

use every right and every wrong i do for you and your glory.

these words will stay,

they won't fade away,

not with time, not with age,

let my desire for you remain.

my silent chase

my quiet prayer.

--

today i heard of pinky swears,

and fingers crossed behind the back.

i think it most sad, that when i told you i loved you,

i didn't know that my other hand had betrayed me

and crossed our fate before we knew it

a silent pinky swear, ruined.

dearest i'm sorry.

dearest i'm sorry.

dearest i'm sorry.

but like this blog header declares

i am more,

than my yesterdays.