i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

in terms of the choices i've made as a person.

in the way i've turned out as a person.

occasionally i browse through my newsfeed and i feel a great disconnect

from those dearest people i know,

who seem to have multiple common grounds

and i feel immensely isolated.

in my greater preference to sit in the afternoons and nights at cafes by myself,

drifting around in my thoughts.

in my lack of interest in crazy late nights that i don't remember, with dirty dancing, intoxicating drinks and giddiness. (although those do sound fun)

in my personal goals of reading many different types of text, wanting to do more than just a mere 4 years of education.

in my love for museums, puzzles, teddy bears and various other things i should be growing out of.

i know i am not alone in this,

i am well aware that these things are not specific to me, but that there are many other people out there who identify this way.

but occasionally i feel the isolation,

when browsing through facebook,

and i wish i were more interested in such things.

people keep telling me to live.

literature keeps telling me to live.

media tells me the way to live.

i don't understand how i'm not already living and breathing and i can't explain how much i think its wonderful.

why is it that to be contemporary and relevant i have to subscribe to a specific type of interaction with reality that involves alcohol, sex and drugs?

why is that the most sophisticated form of living?

this isn't an emo post.

neither is this a self-pity post.

this is not a wannabe rebellious post.

this is me

trying to understand.

i wish i could meet another me.

but i guess thats the thing with being.

you can only be.

and each "be" is not the same as the next "be"

and we all feel this way.

that nobody understands,

nobody is quite as aware of the vastness of it all,

nobody is attuned to the intricacies in our capacity to hold so many tensions, relationships, clashes, weldings and inheriting in one "be"

the inherent condition of being alone.

but i think in the end, i always reach the same conclusion.

i love being me.

i'm alone being me.

sometimes i wish i were someone else,

sometimes i wish i were a different person,

but always in the end,

always,

i come back to myself an realize,

there is a beauty in me being me.

and me just being me.

that there is no one else out there, quite like me.

but also, that there are 7 billion other people, who are just like me.

--

the world may tell me all these things,

but i know someone who knows better,

and He lets me know everyday.

and i hope i do Him proud

till the day we meet face to face

when time and space are recalled to whence they came

and all these will be nothing in the light of something better, more beautiful and unfathomable.