i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

so much that i'd rather stay awake through it all than go to sleep and lose control.

this is something i've been gradually trying to fix.

but lately with my schedule slowly emptying out, i've come to realize that

the crazy amounts of work i've had to do is essentially what has kept fear away.

or maybe it just comes with the things that have recently been on my heart.

going it alone is tough all of the time.

...

it is slightly strange, to be unsure,

of whether or not anyone else out there right now,

has me on their heart and mind.

God i need so much strength.

hands to hold,

hands to hold.