i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

constructing words that are meant to embody a certain form of clarity

accompanied by softer, purposeful words encapsulating beauty

its just another normal day, really.

the biggest blessing in my university life thus far is this particular sense of solidarity.

its where i lose myself, find myself and renew my heart in all its absurdity

this specific scent of freshness, that i sometimes nickname nostalgia

kicks in and wraps itself around those base synapses in my brain.

calming, soothing, settling, and stirring up the ease in my chest.

i realize today, that if it were not for friends,

for family, or the obligatory things in life

i would be lost more often, wandering the spaces of imagination in some constructed not-really

but yet present themselves in more colorful patterns than life could ever really be.

and occasionally i note, with a foreboding sense of dread

the moment where i have to send a thunderclap through this silence

and speak.

why this aversion to spoken words?

when in all my solitude i spend hours and hours creating speech that churn in my thoughts

into this in-between medium of me and not-me.

maybe i'm afraid of its uncontrollable nature.

verbal speech is more often than not speech of no purpose

and once released is lost, it cannot be retracted, reformed, reconstructed.

maybe in my carefully thought out lines

i find a most remarkable liberty.