i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

here i am on a sunday night,

at my desk,

books and papers lying everywhere,

a bowl of instant noodles steaming for dinner,

laundry not yet done,

dishes not yet cleaned,

and mass attempts at procrastination because i just don't know how to go about writing

this damn poetry paper.

admittedly, poetry analysis papers are one of those things that i am not very good at,

give me a novel to write about please. any day. =/

furthermore, my professor is one of those incredibly intelligent academics

whose sneer of contempt will forever brand my poor little forehead as "incompetent"

it is a frightful predicament i find myself in.

o...kaaay.

i confess,

i love it.

i love these moments where life is actively forcing me out of my sad state of whatever,

and throwing me for a loop into the fascinating world of shifting words, ideas and a

the act of creation grounds me more than i can ever express.

its days like these that i get stronger.

in that weird, pragmatic, necessary sort of way.

like the first time i called a phone service for help,

or the first time i wrote out a cheque,

or signed a credit card bill.

little markers of entering the adult world.

and sitting here,

riding off the recklessness of a half an hour nap turning yet again into a two hour snoozefest.

waking up with a terrible neck cramp and having to jump like a crazy around the apartment,

realizing i have nothing to eat tomorrow and a full day lined up.

still needing to write this paper.

or maybe, it was that my heart had its hiccup

and i let myself go.

that behind all the tears and stress, and unspoken loneliness

i found my rest

and now, i'm ready to go again.

fall hard.

get up.

fall better.