i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

and touch me where i need it most.

i have been wrong,

and i have been blind,

would you now pour contempt on all my pride?

i want to hold on,

and see beyond the miracle to your heart.

i want to discover,

that the power lies in the touch between our grasps.

these empty fingers are filled,

with yours.

these empty fingers are filled,

with mine.

and can you hear my heart?

it wants You to come and take away all of me.

the struggle isn't over.

i still hide, behind the counter

shielding an ugly inside, a bitter voice that won't be silent in my head.

i still clench, fist-shaped hands

reminding myself that its not what i want, but its about what i need.

i still wait, with bated breath

fighting against a surge of my expectations so i won't be disappointed.

but today i am solemn,

in thinking of all that i thought i was, but am not and cannot be.

in realizing that the shift i thought i was battling has happened already.

in knowing that everything lies in you and nothing lies in me.

can you hear my heart?

God your will, but still... please...

not yet. please. not yet.

give us all strength,

in between.