i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

there are 10 days till i turn 20.

so there will be 10 different reflections on this past year.

if i honestly sift through this year,

the gold i panned might be too heavy for the sieve i'm using,

not that these nuggets are all positive,

but the wisdom gained from these pieces of gold are priceless.

-----------

i have discovered i am what they call an introvert.

how so?

i am slowly growing out into my fingertips, filling out the body of myself.

a little soul in a little body that is becoming a big soul in a big body,

constantly re-evaluating the web of thoughts in my being,

untangling little knots and smoothing out little wrinkles.

there are many things i cannot say or do,

there are many pieces of me that i am ashamed are there,

but there are also bits of me i can boast of, for the beautifying and boasting will give Him glory.

in all my times alone, i feel the call of wanderlust and so i answer.

in gradual wanderings i've unearthed hidden treasures, swept clean dusty corners,

and stepped into places i forgot existed but contain so many memories.

in intentional adventures, i've sailed to the furthest corners of my heart,

braved the stormy waters of my soul and gone into the deepest recesses of that cavernous

self we are all so afraid of.

i have discovered myself and mapped me out,

it is a good map,

at least,

for now.

soon my body will grow a bit, and my soul expand

and this lovely wandering, will start all over again.

but until then,

i have found this year's gold.