i hope my words are strange and wondrous,

like kisses that quiet all things superfluous,

so that we can all stop and

listen

how to remain uncompromising in this world,

to press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God called me heavenward

how to grow myself a thick, solid backbone

how to thrust my roots down deep

and how, to learn to bend to the wind when the gusts come,

how to love in gentleness, in empathy and understanding,

so that even when we don't have the same love, we can try to be united in purpose

how to compromise on lesser things

these days i am retreating into myself,

and i don't know if it is a good thing.

to be dynamic and active is wonderful,

but it is draining beyond measure.

i can't quite decide if i love being alone,

or am more weary because of it.

i can't quite decide what to do with all these

pieces of me that i would prefer to get rid of.

i can't quite decide if i should bend or stand firm

when i come face to face with you.

i can't quite decide if being bold and beautiful

is a configuration i can handle.

or maybe,

the struggle is the configuration.

maybe to be bold,

is to understand that my indecision is a sign of brokenness,

and that broken,

can be beautiful

but only because it is testament that all restoration is wholly You.