a reason
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intertext lu mikan janice qiao dawn to reply
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how to remain uncompromising in this world,
to press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God called me heavenward
how to grow myself a thick, solid backbone
how to thrust my roots down deep
and how, to learn to bend to the wind when the gusts come,
how to love in gentleness, in empathy and understanding,
so that even when we don't have the same love, we can try to be united in purpose
how to compromise on lesser things
these days i am retreating into myself,
and i don't know if it is a good thing.
to be dynamic and active is wonderful,
but it is draining beyond measure.
i can't quite decide if i love being alone,
or am more weary because of it.
i can't quite decide what to do with all these
pieces of me that i would prefer to get rid of.
i can't quite decide if i should bend or stand firm
when i come face to face with you.
i can't quite decide if being bold and beautiful
is a configuration i can handle.
or maybe,
the struggle is the configuration.
maybe to be bold,
is to understand that my indecision is a sign of brokenness,
and that broken,
can be beautiful
but only because it is testament that all restoration is wholly You.
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