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a reason
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i am faced with the daunting task of anticipating an entire semester that i do not foresee myself enjoying. in the entire history of my academic life, i have never dreaded 4 months more. such is life. i guess its time to notch another marker in my bildungsroman stick. my foresight is dampening my mood, and stressing my brain out in unprecedented ways. i guess i am much more of a free spirit than i knew myself to be. i also mourn the loss of money that is going down the drain, in exchange for four months of classes i don't want to take, and deem utterly redundant. jaded and cynical with the system - that pretty much sums up the current state of affairs. i pray for patience, for perseverance and renewed joy every morning, but to be sure, this will be a steep, uphill climb. fingers crossed for less homework, and a site supervisor who will let me play a minimal role. i am practicing a silence God, that honors who You are. i will try my hardest, with my colleagues, to not buy into a culture of complaining. sanctify my thoughts, and take every word i speak captive to your plan for me. amen. |